Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Happy Anniversary





On May 17th, my parents, George and Ruth, would be celebrating more than 50 years of marriage. Sad to say, not many people are lucky enough to reach that milestone. They raised four children active in sports and activities, and they participated in our schools and our church, showing us the way it should be done by their own actions. As a young child, my father worked nights, which left my mother to deal with the four of us a great deal of time. On the weekends, my father fixed anything and everything, thus earning himself the name “Harry the Handyman” which stuck with him until the day he died, the day before Thanksgiving, 2007. They worked as a team. My father was a quick learner, and so his favorite phrase became “Go ask your mother.” That possibly came because if my mother said no, we would corner him, hoping to get a different answer. (Honestly, it did work once or twice!)
Later in my childhood, my father traveled a lot for his job, and often took my mother with him. It gave them an opportunity to see the world and gave them wonderful memories and pictures to last a lifetime. Sometime ago, my father retired so that he and my mother could enjoy what he called “the golden years” together. Unfortunately, his health deteriorated shortly after his retirement, which curtailed, and finally stopped their travels. They traveled seldom then, and mostly just to family funerals or to the Marine Corp reunions with the Marine families my parents so loved. During the years, as his health worsened, my mother cared for him, and their love remained strong. He fought to watch his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren grow.
Now it was well known to us, his family, that there had been a deal cut many years ago, whereas my father made my mother promise that he would go first when their time came to leave this world for a better place. Over a year ago, my mother had a stroke, although minor and he became very concerned. Then in October, she had a heart attack, followed by triple bypass. This was the indestructible matriarch of our family, and it shook the foundations of our family and made my father question whether she was backing out of their deal. That did not happen, because within days of my mother returning from the hospital, my father played his final card and won the game.
This week, my mother will celebrate this first wedding anniversary without him. It is a sad time for her, but I believe he is still with her (and us) and will be there with her especially on that day. It is a blessing when two people find each other in this great wide world and end up sharing a lifetime together. They were that lucky! Now she must find that strength that was the backbone of our family and find a way to go on until she sees him again. When that happens, he will be free of all the aches and pains of the world, as will she, and they will finally enjoy their golden years together! Until then, there is still a lot more of this one left to live, and a new great grandchild expected almost to the day of their anniversary. There may be some happy tears on that day yet!

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Good Times

Any day now, I will have a new granddaughter. My daughter Chelsea and her husband Matt are expecting a little girl, who should make her arrival known very soon. She will be a military brat, daughter of two Army medics serving in El Paso, TX at the moment.
Chelsea will make a good Mom. She is fearless, though barely over 5 ft. tall. She is smart, ambitious, and hopes to go into trauma medicine or rehab. She has seen more of the world in her short lifetime than I will see in all of my lifetime, and has experienced so much since entering boot camp days before her 18th birthday.
Her life hasn’t always been easy, but I hope that she has always known her family loves her. That love is something she will pass onto her daughter. In these days ahead, my only advice is enjoy each and every moment ahead. I used to always joke that you can’t wait for your baby to smile, then roll over, then walk, and then talk. Then you just wish they would sit down and shut up! In truth, these moments, these precious moments, as you watch your child cry her first cry, your life will truly begin, and it will never be the same again. Be a partner with your husband in this adventure, and nurture that partnership. It is just as important a part of the equation as being a Mom.
You will experience the sleepless nights, the fevers and coughs and runny noses. You will experience the scrapes, and maybe some stitches or broken bones. You will experience homework and sports and having to say no. You will experience the slamming doors and the silent treatment. You will have to watch that first love and that first broken heart. You will wait up nights worrying when she doesn’t come home on time, hoping and praying that something awful hasn’t happened. Before you know it, you will watch as she leaves the nest, whether to college or to other parts of the world.
Know that now, and the days ahead, are the good days, no matter how hard they may be from time to time. Enjoy each one to the fullest and remember that one day, she too will be a grown woman, have a family of her own, and her own life to lead. These are the good times. Enjoy! You’ll look back someday and wonder how they passed so soon!

Duty and Honor






Two weeks ago, I got a wonderful surprise. I received a text message from a young man I call my “adopted son.” (Note: Just so I make myself clear, I actually have two “adopted sons”, and one is celebrating his 21st birthday this week, so Happy Birthday, Justin!) Back to the original story, the text message said “I’m in KC. Give me directions to where your new office is.” That message came from Emmett, the young man on the bottom left of the picture.
Emmett was one of my daughter’s best friends in high school, even though he was several years older than she. He was also one of “my” wrestlers, my little family of boys and one girl (yes, I remember Elise!) that wrestled at Sumner Academy. They are all about to enter college, graduating from college, starting families, or in several cases (Emmett, Christian, Brian, Glenn and Andy) serving their country in various branches of the military. Christian is currently serving his 2nd tour in Kuwait, having served his first one immediately following graduation from high school. Emmett is serving in Kirkuk, Iraq, as is Brian.
Now Emmett was half way through his 1st semester of his senior year at Kansas State University. He is very involved in his fraternity and was an intramural wrestler there. He entered the Army Reserves while in high school. He completed his basic training and then went off to college, serving his one weekend a month and during the summers. Just as his reserve contract was supposed to end, he got word that he needed to drop out of school and pack his duffel bag for a trip to “the sandbox”. So close to graduating from college- he didn’t complain. The Army had helped put him through school and he was ready to do his duty. It’s a volunteer Army and he signed up for it. That is not to say, however, that he was chomping at the bit to go!
The day that he showed up at my office, the women were all going crazy. Emmett is larger than life in real life. He is quiet, smiles a lot, and has impeccable manners. (Note to all of you reading this who know Emmett, stop laughing!) As I took him around my office and introduced him to all of my co-workers, they were so impressed (both with his manner and his muscles!) My director kept trying engage him in a political discussion, asking who she should vote for. He politely told her that he didn’t talk politics. Then she asked him how the soldiers felt about the war and he once more politely told her he could not speak for all of the soldiers. Somewhat frustrated, she asked him how he felt about the war. What he said surprised even me! He told her we need to stay at least 2 or 3 more years to allow the Iraqi people a fair chance at democracy. He felt that so much of the government there is still corrupt, and many Iraqis truly hold out hope that the next elections might really make a difference. He works closely in the reconstruction with the Iraqi people and has seen how hard they are working to make things better and how many of them put their own lives, and the lives of their families, at risk to help the Americans help the Iraqi people.
All we ever hear is the soldiers all want to come home and the Iraqi people hate us being there, and blah, blah, blah. Why is it that the American press tells us only the stories they want us to hear, and seldom the stories about the good things going on. Yes, it is dangerous. Each and every time they get in a vehicle, not matter how armor-plated it may be, they put their lives at risk. Each time the military comes up with new technology to help stop the IEDs, the enemy comes up with new technology to beat our technology. It’s like a very dangerous chess game with some very serious consequences, and yet still this young man, barely into adulthood, can see something that we can’t. Hope!
I am the daughter of a US Marine who served in the 10th Amphibian Tractor Battalion in the Marshall’s and Guam. I am the mother and mother in law of two US Army Medics. I am the “adopted” mother of a US Airborne soldier with the 418th Cavalry Battalion. I couldn’t be prouder of any of them. People may disagree on how we got into this war, whether we should get out of this war, and who should be making these decisions. My personal opinion is- let the military fight the wars and let the politicians deal with Medicare, gas prices, health care, the tumbling economy and keep their noses out of micro-managing things where they don’t have any business imposing themselves into. Let the boots on the ground make the decisions, not those who sit on their high horses, collecting their big pensions and great health insurance, while setting record pork barrel spending bills. In the meantime, many of the military families are struggling to survive at home, at the same time their loved ones are struggling to survive abroad.
No matter how you feel about this war, or any war, remember that these are the people who put their lives on the line for us day and night, and make less money than many of you reading this. They do it voluntarily and with a sense of honor and duty, tempered, I’m sure, with a fear they may never see their loved ones again. Please take a moment to thank those in uniform when you run into them at church, in the airport, a restaurant, or wherever you may see them. If you meet a family member, thank them for their sacrifice too! Most of all, say a prayer they all come home safely.
I am so proud of Emmett. I am proud of the man he has become and proud of the job he is doing. I am also proud that, when his tour is over and he comes back to finish college and enter the world, he will do good things because he is a good man. I met his frat brothers at a BBQ over the weekend and was proud that he surrounded himself with good friends while he was away at school. And lastly, I am proud that this good man’s parents have shared him with me, “his adopted mom”, all of these years, as I have shared my daughter with them. This morning, Emmett is winging his way back to Kirkuk.
May he return home safely soon. God bless the troops serving all over the world, at home and abroad. May he hold their families close, and may he bring peace to this world soon!